Yes, I fuckin' the fuck am callin' you for this. [Angel rasps it, pacing back and forth in his shitty hotel room, fidgeting and near-panicking. How could she be so stupid?] What did you give him? Did you sign anythin'? Did you even read what you signed?
There ain't any! So when I say "don't do somethin'" it's cause it's EVEN WORSE than the rest of this place!!
[She'd tell more lies, but— if Veneer was willing to out her as a phoney in front of all of Mount Rageous, there's no way he won't correct Angel later with the truths she'd told Veneer.]
I met him that day we all were doing that stupid bingo game, and he told me he could help me get my voice back for my soul.
[She says it so casually, like she doesn't get what it means. Or like she doesn't care what it means.]
[There's a long pause, almost long enough that Angel might've hung up.
But then, finally, there's a thump, his back against the door, sliding down slowly to sit cross-legged on the dingy carpet. Damn it. Fucking fuck. He should've -- done something, should've warned everyone sooner, should've kept Val's attention on himself better. Should probably have given in and made a deal himself, not make it so there'd be any need to manipulate anyone else.
He thinks -- those first few years, Val's arm around his shoulder, Val's promises, everyone's gonna know your name, baby, you're gonna be a STAR...]
Fuck. [It's soft, shaky. Angel wants to yell, but -- she didn't know. How could she have known? He hadn't.] Fuck, Vel.
No, you don't. [Angel -- sounds different, voice deeper and less nasal, softly accented. It sounds real.] You don't know him, Velvet, you don't know what he like and you don't know how to handle him.
[There's a slow, shaky breath, Angel rubbing at his face with his hands.] Look, just -- don't piss him off. Don't give him an excuse to get mad. Even if it ain't bad right at first -- and it ain't, not as bad as he can get -- he's gonna remember it forever. He'll bring it up every damn time ya screw up, all the ways you're a fuckin' failure.
And you'll believe him, if you listen. So don't listen. [There's a sound -- almost a sniff, maybe, maybe.] Lemme deal with him. Just -- we'll figure somethin' out before he starts losin' his temper with you. If you think he's gettin' pissed, call me. I'll handle it. Understand?
[She's not wrong. She can't be wrong. She can't be wrong. Even if Angel says so, even if Veneer says so, she can't, she can't, she can't. She has to ignore Angel's fear and sorrow, or else he will be right, and she will be wrong, and she cannot be wrong.
She is going to be a star. She's not going to stay a nobody, she's not going to fail, she's not going to be a failure again.
Her voice is bitter, almost shaky itself— she is desperate to maintain her control, but here everyone is.
Judging her. Judging her choices, telling her what to do.]
...I didn't ask for your help.
I don't— I don't need this from you! I should have known you'd be on his side— neither of you think I can do this!
[Oh, that's funny. Angel can think of himself, on that grimy, vomit-stained street, yelling at Husk -- I didn't ask you Charlie to save me, I didn't ask you to save me, I can take care of myself. He'd been wrong then, like Velvet is wrong now. The difference is he knows exactly what Val's capable of. He's carrying the evidence all over his body.]
It ain't about the fame, dollface. It's about who's gettin' ya there. You think I made a deal with Val cause I wanted to be a porn star? It was supposed to be a steppin' stone, a little side hustle, a cash grab. Keep the bills paid. When it started gettin' shitty, when it started to hurt, when I started tryin' to say no--
[Angel cuts himself off, lets his head thunk back against the door again.] There ain't any sayin' no. Not to Val. No matter what.
[She wants to hang up. She wants to walk away from this. It's not fair, after all, it's not like he even knows her or what she can do, he and Veneer just aren't listening.
So why hasn't she hung up yet? Why is she still entertaining this? Why are her teeth grinding so hard, her fist balled up so tight?
Her voice is thick with anger, muffled from between her clenched teeth, which only seem sharper now.]
[There's a soft sound, an exhale of air, like she's -- punched him, slapped him, something. It's very nearly as effective, stealing Angel's breath for a handful of moments.
Finally, voice very low, rough, thick:] You don't know shit. Which is the only reason I'm not tellin' you to go fuck yourself. You don't know fucking shit about what he's done to me.
[Angel actually laughs at that, lets his head tip back to thud against his bathroom door again. Did he sound like this, to Charlie? Probably. And what had she -- and the rest of those chucklefucks -- done?
They'd stayed. Charlie would stay. Velvet might be shrieking and hurling cruel things at Angel, but she also hasn't hung up yet. Part of her -- however small, however buried -- doesn't want to fully push him away.]
I know you, Vel. I was you. And when you're done bein' a massive bitch, you're gonna need someone who understands. Cause nobody else will. That's why I ain't goin' nowhere, no matter how much you scream at me.
Cause nobody stuck around, when I was where you were. [A slow, shaky inhale.] If'n they had, things woulda been...real different. So: fuck you. You can't scare me away.
[none of it is what Velvet wants to hear. She doesn't even understand.
Why would he stick around? Why? What does he want out of her? And why does she always end up feeling like blabbing to him, anyway? They aren't family, they're barely friends— she only wanted his approval because he's a celebrity, right?
Not because he's a twin, not because he understands her. No one does, her mind wants to believe, and even if they did—]
It's too late.
It doesn't matter. I have to— this has to work.
So don't— bother.
[She wants to be giving cattier lines. Wants to live up to that massive bitch statement. She wants to hang up.
But for the first time, Veneer and Angel have gotten her to feel... scared.]
No, it ain't. [If it wasn't too late for Angel, it sure as fuck isn't for Velvet. Angel will -- figure something out. For her sake, for Veneer's, for everyone who's going to be fucked over if Valentino gets anywhere close to his old level of power. Maybe for himself, who knows.]
Aincha learned by now, babycakes? Don't tell Angel Dust what to do. [There's even a touch of humor in the words, beneath the cockiness.] I'm gonna do whatever I want, and you ain't gonna stop me.
...don't drink anything he gives you. [Suddenly deathly serious, whether Velvet listens or not.] Not even a sip. Nothing.
[Angel says something that she was already planning on doing. And somehow, that manages to hook Velvet at the last minute. She's not good enough at this not to sound a bit sniffly, but...]
I wasn't gonna.
[A bit of a childish way to say it, but it's true. Not even out of suspecting Valentino of doing anything to the drinks— though now that Angel says something, she should have thought of that, shouldn't she? Stupid, of course she should've—]
[Angel gives a raspy bark of laughter, rolling all eight of his eyes.] Evidence's gonna beg to differ, sweetheart. Made about the stupidest choice anyone coulda made, gettin' anywhere near that guy.
[A pause, then, because he can hear Charlie's damn voice in his ear, hear her dumb little lessons and encouragements and exortations:] You ain't gotta listen, but you're gonna hear me -- he starts gettin' mad, starts throwin' stuff, you call me. Lemme deal with it. Don't try'n stop him, he'll just get pissed off. If it gets real bad, even if you ain't stopped bein' a bitch, I'll get over there.
Cause -- [Angel sighs, reaching up and pressing his thumb gently to the fresh bruises around his throat, wincing at the spark of pain.] Cause I've been there. When it's good. I remember. [There's a note of longing in Angel's voice, buried deep, somewhere tender and hidden -- Valentino hadn't just been his boss, back then. They'd been -- something. Special. Or so Angel had thought.]
Plus bein' not so much of an asshole's kinda my thing these days. You should try it sometime. Might like it. [Okay, Angel's still gotta Angel, even if he's turned over a new leaf.]
[It might seem like talking to a brick wall, with how reticent Velvet is. But What Angel's saying is important— it might not do much now, but Velvet will remember it, one day, when fear replaces all that anger.
For now all Angel gets is the sound of her frustration followed by silence— she's met the end of her patience, and doesn't want to hear more. Maybe hanging up, she figures, will get him to leave her be.
He doesn't get it, she tells herself, doesn't understand, a lie she has to repeat to herself to even try to believe it.]
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voice-
Date: 2024-03-26 03:30 am (UTC)You were the one saying Hell was better because there's no rules.
voice-
Date: 2024-03-26 03:34 am (UTC)There ain't any! So when I say "don't do somethin'" it's cause it's EVEN WORSE than the rest of this place!!
voice-
Date: 2024-03-26 03:41 am (UTC)[She'd tell more lies, but— if Veneer was willing to out her as a phoney in front of all of Mount Rageous, there's no way he won't correct Angel later with the truths she'd told Veneer.]
I met him that day we all were doing that stupid bingo game, and he told me he could help me get my voice back for my soul.
[She says it so casually, like she doesn't get what it means. Or like she doesn't care what it means.]
voice-
Date: 2024-03-26 03:48 am (UTC)But then, finally, there's a thump, his back against the door, sliding down slowly to sit cross-legged on the dingy carpet. Damn it. Fucking fuck. He should've -- done something, should've warned everyone sooner, should've kept Val's attention on himself better. Should probably have given in and made a deal himself, not make it so there'd be any need to manipulate anyone else.
He thinks -- those first few years, Val's arm around his shoulder, Val's promises, everyone's gonna know your name, baby, you're gonna be a STAR...]
Fuck. [It's soft, shaky. Angel wants to yell, but -- she didn't know. How could she have known? He hadn't.] Fuck, Vel.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 03:56 am (UTC)Most people respond to fear by cowering, by confronting it head on— but Velvet? Velvet denies fear, deludes herself into a feeling of invincibility.
This can't be the wrong choice, because she doesn't choose wrong. This can't be dangerous, because she's in control.]
I know what I'm doing.
I can use this! All I need to do is perform! I know what I'm doing!
[She insists. But does she? Or is she repeating it to herself just as much as she is to Angel?]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 04:46 am (UTC)[There's a slow, shaky breath, Angel rubbing at his face with his hands.] Look, just -- don't piss him off. Don't give him an excuse to get mad. Even if it ain't bad right at first -- and it ain't, not as bad as he can get -- he's gonna remember it forever. He'll bring it up every damn time ya screw up, all the ways you're a fuckin' failure.
And you'll believe him, if you listen. So don't listen. [There's a sound -- almost a sniff, maybe, maybe.] Lemme deal with him. Just -- we'll figure somethin' out before he starts losin' his temper with you. If you think he's gettin' pissed, call me. I'll handle it. Understand?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-26 04:58 am (UTC)She is going to be a star. She's not going to stay a nobody, she's not going to fail, she's not going to be a failure again.
Her voice is bitter, almost shaky itself— she is desperate to maintain her control, but here everyone is.
Judging her. Judging her choices, telling her what to do.]
...I didn't ask for your help.
I don't— I don't need this from you! I should have known you'd be on his side— neither of you think I can do this!
uhhhh cw for like...angel and val's whole everything whoops
Date: 2024-03-27 12:37 am (UTC)It ain't about the fame, dollface. It's about who's gettin' ya there. You think I made a deal with Val cause I wanted to be a porn star? It was supposed to be a steppin' stone, a little side hustle, a cash grab. Keep the bills paid. When it started gettin' shitty, when it started to hurt, when I started tryin' to say no--
[Angel cuts himself off, lets his head thunk back against the door again.] There ain't any sayin' no. Not to Val. No matter what.
just blanket cws the rest of this and adds denial to the list
Date: 2024-03-27 01:09 am (UTC)So why hasn't she hung up yet? Why is she still entertaining this? Why are her teeth grinding so hard, her fist balled up so tight?
Her voice is thick with anger, muffled from between her clenched teeth, which only seem sharper now.]
Well, he hasn't heard no from me.
[She can't back down now, after all.
It's too late.]
cw: ouchies my feelings
Date: 2024-03-27 01:21 am (UTC)Finally, voice very low, rough, thick:] You don't know shit. Which is the only reason I'm not tellin' you to go fuck yourself. You don't know fucking shit about what he's done to me.
HONESTLY. AUGHHHH IM SORRY ANGEL
Date: 2024-03-27 02:34 am (UTC)Then why don't you just say it?! Just tell me to fuck off then!
You don't know anything about me and I don't know anything about you!
So just— stop! Stop judging me! Stop telling me what to do!
/rends my garments
Date: 2024-03-28 02:06 am (UTC)They'd stayed. Charlie would stay. Velvet might be shrieking and hurling cruel things at Angel, but she also hasn't hung up yet. Part of her -- however small, however buried -- doesn't want to fully push him away.]
I know you, Vel. I was you. And when you're done bein' a massive bitch, you're gonna need someone who understands. Cause nobody else will. That's why I ain't goin' nowhere, no matter how much you scream at me.
Cause nobody stuck around, when I was where you were. [A slow, shaky inhale.] If'n they had, things woulda been...real different. So: fuck you. You can't scare me away.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 02:31 am (UTC)Why would he stick around? Why? What does he want out of her? And why does she always end up feeling like blabbing to him, anyway? They aren't family, they're barely friends— she only wanted his approval because he's a celebrity, right?
Not because he's a twin, not because he understands her. No one does, her mind wants to believe, and even if they did—]
It's too late.
It doesn't matter. I have to— this has to work.
So don't— bother.
[She wants to be giving cattier lines. Wants to live up to that massive bitch statement. She wants to hang up.
But for the first time, Veneer and Angel have gotten her to feel... scared.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 03:29 am (UTC)Aincha learned by now, babycakes? Don't tell Angel Dust what to do. [There's even a touch of humor in the words, beneath the cockiness.] I'm gonna do whatever I want, and you ain't gonna stop me.
...don't drink anything he gives you. [Suddenly deathly serious, whether Velvet listens or not.] Not even a sip. Nothing.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 03:40 am (UTC)I wasn't gonna.
[A bit of a childish way to say it, but it's true. Not even out of suspecting Valentino of doing anything to the drinks— though now that Angel says something, she should have thought of that, shouldn't she? Stupid, of course she should've—]
I'm— I'm not stupid.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-29 01:49 am (UTC)[A pause, then, because he can hear Charlie's damn voice in his ear, hear her dumb little lessons and encouragements and exortations:] You ain't gotta listen, but you're gonna hear me -- he starts gettin' mad, starts throwin' stuff, you call me. Lemme deal with it. Don't try'n stop him, he'll just get pissed off. If it gets real bad, even if you ain't stopped bein' a bitch, I'll get over there.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-29 02:21 am (UTC)Why?
[What's his end of the deal? Where are the strings?]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-30 01:52 am (UTC)Plus bein' not so much of an asshole's kinda my thing these days. You should try it sometime. Might like it. [Okay, Angel's still gotta Angel, even if he's turned over a new leaf.]
no subject
Date: 2024-03-30 02:25 am (UTC)For now all Angel gets is the sound of her frustration followed by silence— she's met the end of her patience, and doesn't want to hear more. Maybe hanging up, she figures, will get him to leave her be.
He doesn't get it, she tells herself, doesn't understand, a lie she has to repeat to herself to even try to believe it.]